My infatuation with the big flat fours started with an early GL1000 that had done 123,400 miles and was on its last legs. The engine rattled but didn't knock, the chassis was original, right down to the suspension! A brief test ride revealed tractor-like torque and a surprisingly secure feel - the flat four layout does get a lot of the engine weight down low even if some of that mass is concentrated a long way out from the centre of the machine.
300 notes poorer, I rode the beast home. My initial impressions turned out to be totally unreliable. The test ride involved no more than 45mph, the open road revealed the true state of the decay. Took two major forms - the engine felt like it was falling apart and the chassis went as slack as a twenty-customer-a-day prossie's twat.
The bike eventually bounced up to the ton, quavered, then went into a massive speed wobble whilst the engine tried to vibrate its way out of the frame. Not wanting to have my new toy disintegrate under me or play chicken with oncoming cars, I backed off a tad and she steadied down to a level of cussedness on a par with your average sixties British twin.
Before the Goldwing owners' club comes calling, I will quickly repeat that this was a totally knackered example of the breed in no way to be compared with a lovingly cared for, and low mileage, item. Okay? Put the lynching rope away.
The engine wasn't actually smoking like a stroker so I deduced that there was some life left in the essential internal components. A carb balancing session followed. Six hours later they were synchronized in a recognisable manner - the little buggers were so worn that as soon as I adjusted one, it meant the others had to be readjusted again. Luckily, I was already as bald as Kojak so didn't have to worry about tearing my hair out in frustration.
The motor ticked over much more silkily and the level of vibration was much more tolerable. It still didn't want to breach the ton but would growl forwards heartily from about 25mph in top gear. This was just as well as the gearbox was typically worn Honda crap with more neutrals than engaged gears, the bike running best with top engaged as soon as possible. I could even slip the clutch in top and troll along at 10-15mph!
I even tried taking off in that gear but the transmission felt like all the bearings were about to break up. Third it could manage the trick which eliminated half of the false neutrals on the way to top! Each time a false neutral was found, the back wheel hammered away in protest and in bends the bike tried to radically redirect its line into the nearest oncoming car or ditch. Much better just to back off in top, the shotgun blast of leaking exhaust gasses adding to the merriment.
I nearly ran the engine dry of oil on the first major, 200 mile, run. There were puffs of smoke on the overrun and a slight whiff of burnt oil carried away by the wind around 70mph, but nothing major that would suggest it eating oil at a voracious rate. I concluded that there was no point doing regular changes if I was adding a couple of litres every 100 miles!
Had to keep a sharp eye on the coolant level, too, as that did a rapid disappearing act. Had visions of the head gaskets blowing and the water mixing with the oil. This kind of paranoia normal on ancient motorcycles.
The front brake was the only item on the bike that was relatively new, or at least refurbished to modern spec - aftermarket pads, Goodridge hose and new fluid. Just as well as there was an awful lot of momentum to lose when rambling up to corners. The only problem was the loose forks, bushes well past their sell-by date, shaking the whole front end when the brake was used in anger.
This made lining the behemoth up for corners difficult, and it was the kind of bike that needed to define its initial line and stick to it with religious fervour. Trying to tug the Goldwing on to a new trajectory when banked over was both hard work and very likely to totally confuse the worn out suspension.
There was also a point when the bike went from a controlled lean to wanting to flip off the road - the far flung mass of the cylinder head finally trying to catapult the bike into oblivion. Whatever, it needs a back breaking lurch to pull back! In corners, my friend's XJ600S Yamaha would leave the Honda for dead and even young whippersnappers on 125's buzzed past!
However, the Honda wasn't without its uses, proved sublimely comfortable at a constant 80mph pace on the motorway - after I'd become used to the engine's vibes. The tussle with the bike through the bends provided a good work-out for my upper body muscles and I soon found its limits, though that never stopped me from taking the piss by pushing the engine and chassis past their natural points of resistance.
It was a toss up if the end would come from an engine blow up or from the bike hurtling off the road in a 100mph speed wobble! In the end, it was a combination of the two. One of my favourite minor A-roads, the Honda thrumming along at 90mph when the engine started clacking. I'd had 11000 miles out of the bike, so thought I'd see what happens next.
Throttle to the stop, the clacking intensified as the motor slowly wound itself up and the chassis began to weave across a couple of lanes. I was concentrating so hard on staying on the road that it took a moment to realise the motor had seized up solid! The back end unhinged from the lack of power when I hit on the clutch went into a really vile slammer of a reaction and the bike dived for the side of the road!
There was so much mass and momentum that the Wing basically carried on over the grass, through a thorny hedge and finally butted into the rear end of an old stallion that then tried to kick my head off! The horse bolted and I then had the weary business of pulling a dead Wing out of a mushy field, back through the thorn filled gap in the hedgerow.
I should've just dumped it in the field because as well as a totally dead engine (experts in these things reckoned the water pump had failed) the forks and front wheel were bent and I found a heavily rusted subframe when I took the seat off! Basically, scrap!
I still reckon I had good value out of the beast. Running costs were a set of used tyres every 5000 miles, a few drums of oil and about 45mpg. Even in its wrecked state a breaker still gave me a hundred notes for the heap!
A couple of years later I had the chance to buy a GL1200 Aspencade - the one with all the junk on it, as the Secondhand Guide likes to put it. About 700lbs of metal, including a radio and a cassette player! My mates were soon taking the piss, asking where were the fridge and TV. But I reckon they were just jealous as it was a rainy autumn and I didn't get too wet or cold in the daily commute and weekend joy riding.
Everything about the Wing is huge but it's actually quite well balanced and will run along with just a little bit of throttle in top gear. This one had a gearbox that worked in a recognisable manner but it didn't really need much effort on the gearchange as the 1200cc flat four engine was tuned for torque and easy running. It's almost unique in the way it will run as a single (top) gear motorcycle!
This is all very relaxing but the bike, despite its unlikely mass and huge fairing, will shift very well on the open road, accelerating heavily from 40 to 100mph when the inevitable lack of aerodynamics slows things right down. 120mph's possible but the chassis goes all slack and the bike isn't sure which way it wants to go.
No, save your licence, stick to sub 100mph speeds, the bike shuffles along very well indeed whilst remaining totally relaxed, as in some zany armchair in motion. Smooth fast bends it can take in its stride, throw in lots of bumps the chassis turns a bit queasy but remains basically safe.
Bumpy country bends with lots of changes of directions have to be taken with care - the undercarriage tries to tear into the tarmac and my muscles soon gave up from all the effort needed. However, the bike actually felt a lot less dangerous than it looked, really just needed a bit of mental adjustment to compensate for its outrageous size.
Anyone who buys a Goldwing has the open road in mind. Comfort and relaxed touring its main plus points. As far as hurtling along motorways at 90mph goes, this is the best bike I've ever owned. No backside pains, no stiffness from shoulders battered by the wind on a naked bike; basically just sit on the thing and point it in the required direction. 500 miles in a day was a doddle, twice that possible!
Of course, to get on the motorway or autostrada there are dreadful places to leave from and arrive at. Dreadful in the context of getting the Wing through heavy traffic. It's so heavy and wide that often I ended up going no faster than the cages. Used to the agility of motorcycles I sometimes forgot what I was riding, went for impossible gaps (for the Wing) and suddenly had to slam on the fortunately potent discs!
On the other hand, the past owner had sprayed the bike white with flashes of blue and red - a dead ringer for a cop bike. I soon dressed up in black with a white helmet, would rear up in cager's mirrors and make them swerve out of the way. I even got the odd wave from real bike cops!
There was a local electronic shop that sold everything from CB radios to capacitors and they just happened to have one of those electronic sirens that made a hell of a racket, somewhere between a cop car and an ambulance. This was soon fitted inside the fairing, a brief blast made ped's jump out of their clothes and cagers drop a load. Great fun was had charging through town at a furious pace, clearing all before me!
I knew I'd gone too far when some civilian rushed out in front of the bike, waved me down and complained about his neighbours fighting, thinking I was a real plod. That, and the local rag warning about a motorcyclist impersonating a police officer! Oops, a quick bit of spray work on the fairing and wearing a black helmet got me out of that one, though I'd still amuse myself with the siren when the traffic became too much.
The bike had 36,700 miles on the clock when I bought it and I did over 50,000 miles in the next three years without any serious problems. The tyres were very expensive and short-lived, less than 4000 miles! Carb balancing was needed every 5000 miles, or so. The valves needed doing every 15000 miles. And that was about it!
Prices for GL1200's vary enormously - some shops want more than five grand but they can be found for under 2000 notes in the private market! There are lots of imports mixed in with the genuine examples but there isn't much difference in price. The defining factors are mileage, the amount of accessories fitted and general condition. Really, just depends on how much effort you put in to finding a bargain buy. I was able to sell mine for what I paid for it despite the unlikely mileage!
Getting shot of the Wing left a large hole in my life. I began looking at the GL1500, surely the ultimate world cruiser. It was way out of my price bracket but that didn't stop me test riding a nearly new one. Don't know if it was mind boggling or mind blowing! Totally over the top but a blast to hustle along the nearby motorway with all the mod-cons switched on! Reluctantly, I handed it back. Another day, another dream.
Richard Grey